A Vigil, Alone.

& Emptier Inside.

I float above my body, 
I stand beside my self and ask 
Is it safe now,
Can I take off my mask? 

I let them remove 
pieces of me
That once held me together,
even when I couldn’t see.
Parts that were vital, 
yet dragging me down,
Tethered to my pain, 
pulling me to the ground.

This wasn’t just a long term analysis, 
it became about survival.
I had to let go of what once defined me,
to have any chance at revival.
My body unraveled, my heart lay flat,
I knew it was necessary,
but I desperately didn’t want to 
hear 
that.

Now a vigil will be held 
For love I deeply craved 
but never quelled.
I will mourn for moments 
that will never be, 
A love untethered, lost at sea. 
An empty body, an empty room 
A broken spirit left to loom. 
I can’t stop thinking about
love without a name, 
a place in me consumed,
a void inside filled with shame.